This club explores the great philosophical questions of life. What is society? What is the principle between the Spail? Where is the fabled land of Ameica? How did chairs evolve into whorechairs? What are padderdogs?
The question still remains, and we still attempt to answer them the best we can. Our sacred tools are words of ail, Monty Python videos, and other assorted objects that need coddling.
One should not pay attention to the fact that about fifty people have put restraining orders on all members of this society. How the police are investigating every inch of our headquarters, and how I am currently being naked and scanned for radioactive reactions on my body, my clothes, or all my possessions.
One also should care not to look at the illegal immigrants we smuggle across the border to my right. Pay no attention to them.
Finally, we say, welcome to the Grand Society of Padderdogs. We hope you enjoy your stay, chicken sandwiches on your left, World of Warcraft to your right, and a clinic for WoW-obsessed players to get over their addiction behind me, usable for a nominal fee. Please, use these facilities to your liking.
AS I POUND YOUR NAIL,
I DECLARE YOU HAS FAIL,
YOU'RE AS SLOW AS A SNAIL.
HERE BY THE ANGEL OF ABIGAIL,
TIED ON THE TRAIN RAIL,
SHE PLAYED NOT IN RETAIL,
SO WE RAN ON HER TRAIL,
ONLY TO SEE SHE HAS LEFT WITH A WAIL,
SHE WENT ON A QUEST FOR THE HOLY GRAIL,
DISPITE OUR MEANINGFULL HAIL...
ALL OF US WENT TO JAIL
--SOCIETY OF THE PADDERDOGS --Where whorechairs reside